041. Navigating Life's Toughest Conversations with Michelle Surtees
Welcome to the Without Losing Your Cool podcast, where we explore how to navigate the often tumultuous waters life can throw at us.
In this episode, Michelle Surtees (https://www.instagram.com/tough.cookie.communications/) joins me to talk about her latest book, "Crummy Conversations," and her beliefs on the importance of communication in all types of relationships – especially with our kids.
Michelle dives in with her inspiration for writing "Crummy Conversations," a book about talking with kids about death, divorce, diagnosis, departure, and disaster. She emphasizes the importance of kids understanding the whole picture and why it's crucial for parents to be honest with their children about difficult topics.
As someone who has worked with children and families for over 18 years, Michelle believes that courageous communication is for everyone. She shares how she transformed her communication style and in turn, transformed her relationships and brought her closer to herself. She explains the goal of intentional and empathetic communication and introduces the Courage to Communicate model, which is a practical guide for having tough conversations.
Michelle also gives us tips for navigating situations that don't have a positive outcome and differentiating between real danger and fight, flight, or freeze. She emphasizes the importance of processing and moving forward in hard moments and shares strategies for making uncomfortable conversations feel more natural.
As you’ll hear in our conversation, Michelle's insights remind us of the importance of intentional and empathetic communication in all aspects of our lives. Whether it's in our personal relationships or professional interactions, we can all benefit from being more mindful and intentional in our communication.
Learn more about Michelle here: https://toughcookiecommunications.com/
We talk about:
- [0:00] Intro
- [2:15] Why Michelle wrote her book, Crummy Conversations
- [5:35] Why it's so important for kids to see and understand the whole picture
- [7:50] How to handle wishing we could go back and change things
- [9:00] What Raising Your Kids Without Losing Your Cool actually means
- [10:55] How Michelle transformed her communication style and in turn transformed her relationships
- [13:45] How to bring your full self to your relationship
- [15:10] The goal of intentional and empathetic communication
- [17:25] The Courage to Communicate model
- [32:40] Navigating situations that don't have a positive outcome
- [34:10] The role of our Amygdala
- [37:30] Differentiating between real danger and fight, flight or freeze
- [39:00] Strategies to process and move forward in hard moments
- [45:05] Tips for making uncomfortable conversations feel more natural
- [47:15] What intentional and empathetic communication is
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Until next time remember to keep doing the hard things, and show up like you mean it! Without Losing Your Cool!
