You're not in my mouth bro, how do you know if I need more salt???


WHOO HOO! ISN’T IT BEAUTIFUL????? My web-designer, Catalina Vega of GUANA DESIGNS is SOOOOOOO uber talented, and lovely and wonderful. I’m so thankful that the need for a yoga retreat and detox brought us together. I kid you not, I met her in the jungle of Costa Rica, turns out she works at the retreat Dominique and I visited, Hacienda Del Sol, is her place of employment. The whole reason Dominique and I ended up picking that retreat was based entirely on the beauty of their website. It was so beautiful, and professional that we knew we would be in very good, caring, thoughtful hands while fasting and detoxing. Then I met Catalina one day in the office, she told me she designed the site for them and I simply knew she was my girl. I knew I had to hire her to build my brand new site. A new site that was a thing that was needed because you all, in the infamous words of Sally Field; “You like me, you really like me!!!”

So here we are friends, brand new site, but same saucy attitude. Welcome, and thank you so much for making it necessary for me to get my shit together and build a professional site. You who were with me from the beginning can tell all the “newbies” that; “You knew me when.” Hehehe

Anyway, now let’s get down to business. Today’s post. What the hell is with all the cocky arrogant chefs out there?? I mean it seriously makes me go “hmmm.” The other day I was out for a thank you lunch with the ladies from Childhood Cancer Canada at a mid-high level restaurant which I’ve been to before, so I was familiar with it. I don’t know how you are when you eat out, but I’m a bit weird, I’m a repeat orderer. Meaning when I go somewhere for the first time, if there is a dish I LOVE I will order it EVERY SINGLE TIME I walk through the door.

Weird right? I mean restaurants have ENTIRE menus, don’t I want to try something new, different, better perhaps?

Nope, I do not. I order the same thing at every restaurant I go, all the time. We happen to eat out a lot and at many different places so it’s not like I’m having the same dish at the same place every week on our date night. We have our restaurants in a pretty good rotation, so I can go a couple of months without eating at the same place, or the same meal. But no matter where I am, when I sit down and there is no salt on the table. I get annoyed. I’m like, “excuse you chef but you’re not in my mouth, do you know how I like my food to taste? No. No you do not, so kindly leave some salt on the table of your establishment, please and thank you.”

So while at this luncheon my mushroom soup arrived and it was bland people, bland as if the mushrooms had just come out of the dirt sort of bland. When our waitress finally came back around I kindly asked her for salt, to which she replied; “Sorry but I cannot give you salt because Chef has prepared this dish to the perfect seasoning.”

Ummmm, come AGAIN. “CHEF?” Really? Are you kidding me right now? I happen to know, my younger brother is a Chef, that this particular CHAIN of restaurants doesn’t have an actual Chef in the kitchen, they have a “Chef” that makes the menu but not one running their kitchen. This is a fact. Needless to say I was not impressed, so I said back to her; “I appreciate that in the recipe that “Chef” created there may have been much more call for flavor, but perhaps whoever is in the kitchen today might not have added any, so if you don’t mind, since this is a restaurant I would really love to add some salt to this…”

She looked at me, deep in thought possibly considering who she was going to please “Chef” or her paying customer. Happily for me, she went and rummaged up some salt for me to add to my rather boring, flat mushroom soup, and I was happy as happy could be after that.

I get it “Chef” you know about food, you know about flavor and your vision of how you want your dishes to come across…but, I’m here to suggest that perhaps you give the paying customers the option of “enhancing” your creations just a little bit, especially if you are the “Chef” of a chain restaurant…

Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm…