There are a few things currently happening in my life that I don’t understand; 1) why does my sign in for my blog ask me a mathematical question every single time I have to come here and post? I’m a writer not a math whiz internet…
2) what’s with all the carb loading I’m doing these days? I’m like insatiable. There hasn’t been a carb I haven’t ingested in the last six weeks. I’m like a woman gone mad…I think it is a “beefing up for winter” thing that happens, which I for one want no part of thank you very much. Must check with my nutritionist later today.
In the meantime I have to say that most of you answered the WWYDW as I would do, overwhelmingly you said that you would go with C. Deal directly with your co-worker/the victim in the scenario. I would say that I would 1000% handle it in the same fashion, mostly because one never knows how a person who would behave in that manner will respond. My younger brother is a chef in Toronto, he was very proudly, working at one of the top restaurants here. He was doing an incredible job and moving up quickly in the kitchen, that was until they brought on a new Chef de Cuisine. In the event that you don’t know what their role is they’re right under the Executive Chef, the EC is the person who makes the menu, trains the kitchen staff how to make the menu but is not in the kitchen on a nightly basis, the CDC, the Sous Chefs (my brother) and line cooks run the day in day out operations of a kitchen.
There, now that you know that little bit of info about how a kitchen works we can carry on.
So the new CDC rolls into town and begins making sexually explicit comments to the female sous/line cooks. My brother a fearless defender of women; would ask one of the women, who the bulk of his comments were directed at how she was doing, if she wanted him to help in anyway. Her consistent remark to my brother was; “I’m a lesbian what the f*$k do I care what that ass has to say to me.” So my brother let it slide, always checking in on her, but taking her at her word that she wasn’t bothered by it. Until, my brother with his giant heart, and low tolerance for abuse, remember, he and I were raised in the same house, so he witnessed some of what I went through, just finally had enough. My brother chose option c) offered his support and help to his co-worker and then took it to the proper department within the company. He went to HR about the CDC saying he was creating a toxic environment for the kitchen staff.
You know how the company responded???
They fired my brother. Kept the CDC, who left within a few months anyway, but let go of one of their strongest Sous Chefs. They chose to take the side of the offender and fire the guy who did the right thing. That’s so messed up I can’t even tell you. (But I will tell you this, Yannick and I no longer frequent that restaurant or any that are owned and operated by the same group.) This response my friends, the one where the person doing the good deed gets fired, I feel has been the way of the world for so very long, this is why predators like Harvey, and so many more have been able to exist, undercover. But, as I shared with YB the other night while we were going to sleep, I’m hopeful that all the #metoo and similar initiatives are bringing all this seedy, hidden, predatory in the dark behaviour to light. And I completely believe that once the light has been “turned on” on this matter it will never go dim again. The days of sexual predators getting away with using their power in any work environment to be over, and to have control of a fellow human being in this way will be behind us.
I truly believe this with all my heart; and I for one am thankful because as my daughters, your daughters/sons, grand-kids move out into this big wide world of ours they will be much safer than we ever were. People will no longer be silent when somebody approaches them in an inappropriate manner, victims will speak up sooner knowing that they have a platform and an entire community behind them, supporting them, believing them, and blowing the whistle on these sexual predators. It is a shame that many have suffered before these days, but I’m confident that the number of people who suffer going forward will go down considerably. So I thank and salute all the men and women who have come forward, since the Bill Cosby days of not staying silent anymore, you are the ground-breakers, you are the people who have made it possible for future generations to be able to go to work and be safe in their work environments. You have demanded a new normal, and I thank you for your bravery in coming forward to make it so.