Trying to uncover the mystery of which of your three dogs is the one making Urine Pond in your house, is a tough task.

Okay, so the problem with having three dogs living in one house is, unless you see which dog commits the crime, it’s like taking a shot in the dark to pin the punishment on the right four legged kid. What we currently have going on is that one of them is emptying their bladder all over the dining room chairs, AND one of our living room chairs. EVERY DAY. Not every once in a while, but now it is every f’n day.

Picture this, after a long day of travel, or in the case of our middle girl, work, 12-16 hour days are typical, you walk into your home and there is dog urine EVERYWHERE.

It’s infuriating. It’s disgusting. And it’s flat out naughty. But who is responsible? Which of our three guys is the one who is punishing us in this manner? Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm???

When I arrived home from Toronto last Tuesday, I walked into Urine Pond. I wish I had the photo so I could attach it to this article, but after sending it in our family group chat I was so angry with the bad behavior, that I deleted the evidence. Wednesday they were good. No peeing in the house at all. And then it began again, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. It is so pungent that our house, even after the first incident, smells like dog pee! I had hoped the smell would go away, but apparently not. Our daughter says that the house STINKS, no matter how many times she washes the floor. And I’m beyond livid at the blatant disrespect toward the family home.

I mean our dogs are not young, they know they do their business outside, so what’s the deal with this? I’m trying to not get too upset about it, but I also understand that it’s normal when a dog has cancer that they drink way more water, and therefore they cannot hold their bladders they way they used to, since their fluid intake is elevated. Because of this I keep my tongue, and don’t get nearly as angry, or discipline him as harshly since I know he can’t really help it, that this is a part of his illness. This helps me to keep my compassion, and patience.

Then a funny thing happened. In all my understanding, I replied to our daughter’s super annoyed text, trying to calm her down, to hopefully aid her in not being so upset by explaining this and reminding her that this happened with Kuda toward the end as well. Although honestly I totally get it, who wouldn’t be annoyed to wake up to Urine Pond after working hard all week, and on a Sunday morning; I know I would not be please. While I explained to her about poor Mack, and that this is part of the disease, she informed me that she alone had solved the mystery of which dog is the one who is emptying their doggie bladder all over the main floor of our home.

Turns out it is NOT the dog dying of cancer, nope, not at all. She said the other night she watched as Duke marched right over to the chair, lifted his leg and piss on the back of it.


What a bad, bad, BAD dog.

He had just come in from outside.

He didn’t NEED to pee.

He CHOSE to pee.

And he chose to do it against a lovely fabric chair. The same way day, in day out at our Toronto home, and our LA house, he picks the outdoor couches to pee against. Or the ceramic planters. Or stairs. He has an abundance of greenery. Both properties have enough organic matter for him to cock his leg and pee. But does he? No. No, he does not, he prefers to ruin our things. Things that cost money, that took hours of work on his father’s part to pay for.

Now I know which dog it is, and I’m going to do what my friend suggested. I’m marching right into a pet store tomorrow and I’m buying him doggie diapers. If he wants to behave like he’s never been trained, and that he’s too small to make it to the trees in his garden, then he can walk around with no dignity for a few days, wearing dog diapers and perhaps he’ll change his way.

There’s more than one way to skin a cat, or in this case, a fit throwing English bulldog. I have your number Duke and I will come out of this victorious!