Who told men that women get sexually aroused from their unsolicited D*#K pics?
Well, yesterday’s post was such fun! Thanks to everybody who commented back, and I want to extend a very warm welcome to all the newbies who commented. I’ll do my best to remember to do that every Wednesday…I just need to come up with topics is all. DRUM ROLL PLEASE: THE RESULTS ARE…I’d have to say that overwhelmingly most of you said you would call the manager over, some said you would simply stew, which is no fun, and only ruins the evening for you. So as your friend, I will suggest that you work on that part of yourself; meaning in all areas of your life when things that are upsetting I get that tackling them head on is uncomfortable. It is for everybody, but trust me when I say that it is like a muscle. The more you express yourself in a respectful, authoritative way the better you get at but doing it. The more you adopt this way of being, you get in the groove of it, and you learn how to diplomatically and persuasively handle difficult situations by finding words that address it in a way where the person you are confronting doesn’t feel attacked.
Now, the way the Bisson family handled it while I was in the ladies room, oblivious to the entire episode, was they chose to address the kid directly, the parents FLIPPED OUT, called over a random server and proceeded to complain about us. Another server came over and asked if we wanted to be moved tables and Yannick looked right at them and said: “nope we’re good the kids off his device and they look like they’re leaving soon.” Which they did, and our meal was then enjoyed entirely in peace and joy. I just don’t get the bringing technology to the dinner table, like at all. Not an iPad. Not with the volume on full and the screen as bright as the sun. I don’t get that behaviour at all.
You know what else I don’t get friends…are men who send D*#K pics.
Guys, I’m here to tell you, I’ve polled my friends, those of them who date men, and I can say that the bulk of women don’t think your d*#ks are worth a zoomed in selfie. Men, listen up, this is important. If we’re in a relationship with you this is what you need to know: we LOVE YOU, so by default we love your penis. But just a penis all on its own, out of context from just about getting ready to have some hot, awesome sex with you, is not high on our list of things we wish we would get unsolicited pictures of. EVEN if we love you. Now, if we don’t love you…just don’t. Like NEVER, EVER send a d*#k pic.
Every single friend who has ever received one, hell even my daughters who have received them say the exact same thing to me about getting them. They open the snapchat, or the DM on Instagram or the direct message to Twitter and they’re wondering things like; “Oh I wonder what that guy I went on one date with is going to say today? Maybe he’s going to ask me out again..”
And then this is what they get instead…
“OH SHIT. IT IS A D*#K PIC.” Delete. Delete. Delete.
Do you want to know what happens next guys? They don’t call you and invite you over for sex, they don’t even initiate sexting with you. No, what they do is they message all their girlfriends, and maybe if they’re super close like my girls and I are they message their mom and DIE over the fact that you just sent them that picture. They laugh about it. They tell everybody about it. And then you know what happens after that, for 95% of the women you send your d*#k pics to, you never hear from them again, because you, my male compadre do not know the first damn thing about flirting with a woman. You clearly know shit about wooing a woman. You definitely do not know how to stimulate a woman, because unlike men women are NOT stimulated by photos of the male genitalia. Women are stimulated by gestures, attitude, attempts to get to know them. Talking is a good one, try it some time. And I don’t mean “text talking” I mean actual voice to voice conversation. Your d*#k pics are saying a lot, but none of it good men, none of it good.
So let’s try to pass this blog around shall we friends, let’s help the male trend of the selfie d*#k pic die a quick death. Let’s help all our single sisters out in the dating world by doing our part to, for the love of God, stop the d*#k pic movement.