The Super Hero Single Parent

If you’re reading this it’s because you’re a parent, and you don’t need me to tell you that being a parent is a big job. A huge all-encompassing responsibility. So much hinges on how we raise them, and we’re all keenly aware of that teeny tiny not so insignificant detail. Which means, if you’re anything like me, sometimes that knowledge can drive you insane with self-doubt, and insecurities that keep you up at night wondering “am I doing this right?”

The answer. Some days yes, and some days no, and both are totally okay. Parenting is not about perfection it’s about intention. And if your heart is focused on doing your best and loving your kid(s) with your whole heart, that my friends is half the battle. I’m fortunate that I’ve had an equal partner in the raising of my three girls, not everybody does. My mom didn’t. She was a full time working single parent with less than no help from my father, both financially and emotionally. I had an inkling that it was difficult for her; two brothers playing competitive hockey, me a competitive dancer, her working from 8am-4pm five days a week. Yet she never complained, not that I recall. She also didn’t lose her cool, all that much, for as much pressure that, I know now about firsthand, that she was under. I know this because I too have gone through the momming part of my life.

I’m in awe. I’m in awe of every single one of you parents out there doing it on your own. Men, women, all of you just so totally committed to your children, doing the job of two, with just yourself to lean on. You’re fucking brilliant. You’re total, and absolute super heroes. I mean anybody crazy enough to bring a little person into the world and be like; “I so have this, I’m going to raise a completely, amazing, contributing member of society” is a little bit nutty to begin with. I include myself in this bunch, because honestly, most of us are still dealing with the dysfunction of our own childhoods, (and if you were raised by humans, then part of your childhood and how you were raised was not ideal, and that’s okay!) so what makes us think we should give the entire thing a whirl on our own is a mystery to me. Yet we do, and some of you are doing it solo and honestly, you’re the people I admire more than pretty much anybody on this planet. So, if today you were having a shitty day and feeling like maybe you can’t go on, or you’re pretty sure you’re doing it all wrong, and that you’re not as good a parent as somebody who has a parenting partner. Take it from a woman who has a parenting partner but was raised by a woman who didn’t…you’re the rock stars of the parenting world, and you’re not alone at all. Moms like me are rooting for you, and are here for you, and are freaking proud of you!

Kudos to single parents everywhere!!!

xo

Shantelle Bisson