Friends, I’m getting so good at this relaxing and disconnecting thing while being at our cottage I’ve been neglecting you and my daily musings. Since I’m so far behind I figured that I would simply go back in time through the archives and re-post some of my personal favorites. I love the parenting blogs, this one about manners is seriously one of my all time top picks. Since we are in the final days of July, and we’re all soaking in the sun and the weekend; but I did say this was a “daily musings” blog, so I need to keep my word. I think this will be fun for those of you who are new to my blog, who lead busy lives and haven’t gone back through the archives. I’m doing the work for you and pulling some of the archives forward for you to enjoy now!! Lucky you ; )
Okay parents listen up. This is super straight forward.
If you’re a rude person, you will raise a rude person. It is not rocket science. It is basic common fucking knowledge. This post could be the shortest one I would ever post if I were to stop right here: DON’T BE A RUDE PERSON.
But sadly, that wouldn’t make for a very entertaining read, obviously it would be a great disservice to you, my friends, if I didn’t tell you what situation, out in the world today caused me to muse on this subject. Well, there were in fact two occasions where I was completely gobsmacked at the poor example being set before a child today, that made me go “hmmm.”
The first occurrence happened when my sister in law, brother, and I were walking along the sidewalk, chatting, and in no rush to get anywhere, since we’re on vacation time. I could, however, feel a woman “breathing down my neck” behind me, so when I arrived at the door to the entrance of the building we were going to, I stepped aside, holding the door open allowing her to go through first. Since clearly she was in some sort of rush, and who was I to keep her down. She rushed through the door, young daughter, somewhere between the ages of 8-10 years old in tow. Both of them plow through, no smiles, no nod to acknowledge that I did her a solid by letting them pass through the door not only before myself, but my two family members also. Like I didn’t have to do that. I arrived at the door first, but I recognized what seemed to be her genuine need to get somewhere quickly when I did not have the same need, so I put her need before mine. And yet she was neither thankful, or polite. Well, let’s just say, that did not fly with me. You guys know me, I had to say SOMETHING. So as my sister in law made her way into the building, with me closely behind her, the woman and her young daughter were standing staring at the elevator, waiting for it to arrive. This is when I took the opportunity to say to her; “That was rude. I held the door for you, and you didn’t even acknowledge that I had, or say thank you.”
She looked from her daughter back to me and said; “We’re in a hurry, she’s late for school. Sorry.”
Hmmm…it’s 10:30am, why rush now? You’re already two full hours late.
Also, this is an office tower, with a gym, and mostly medical offices, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t attend school here. But, so as not to call her a liar, I checked the board, and no school listed there. Big surprise.
Anyway, I walked away, because I was about to blow a gasket. What sort of parenting is that??? So, let’s get this straight. You’re teaching your young daughter that it is more than okay to be rude IF you’re running late? And also it’s okay to lie. Really??? Really??? Come on. Is this a thing??? No but really, you, your kid, anybody gets a “get out of jail free card” from remembering their manners if they’re in a rush. You can cut people off while driving. You can jump in front of them in line at Starbucks, because you know, you’re late for work.
I mean where would the right to be rude end if the benchmark was “running late/in a hurry…” The answer is it never would end, so let’s not use this as a parenting method, it’s stupid. You will end up raising a giant asshole, so let’s not, okay.
Second bad parenting award I would have handed out today was a dad with his, probably 14 year old daughter. He, with whom I’m guessing was a second wife, she was much younger than him, too young to be the mother of the two kids, and she didn’t seem to be engaging like a mother would with two kids as if they were their own; anyway, people’s second marriages are not the topic of the post, the point is this. The young girl walked into the restaurant, albeit a patio, loud talking on her iPhone, which I get that loud talking is a new “normal” in our modern world, especially on cell phones, but this girl was loud talking on a facetime call with a teenage boy who was equally loud talking.
Okay. Two things here. 1) If your child is on their cellular device, please for the courtesy of every single other person in the common space make them hang up the call before entering a restaurant. Please, and thank you. 2) This little bit, was something I overheard once she finally got off the phone at the table right behind us. Her father asked her who it was she was talking to, and she flippantly said; “Oh just this really cute boy who calls me all the time, but I don’t like.” Ummmm. Okay. Well that’s not very nice now is it? You know you don’t like this boy, but you accept his calls every single day, because why?? Is it an ego boost to her? What’s going on there? I have no idea, since she isn’t my daughter, but it’s definitely a “get involved parent time” sort of issue, from where I stand. Leading a person on, is pretty rude. I mean, we must teach our children to truly treat people the way they want to be treated. What if the shoe was on the other foot? What if it were her calling a boy every day, and every day he engaged her in conversation, would she like it very much if she finally found out weeks later that he doesn’t like her “in that way”?? My guess would be she wouldn’t like that at all. So the other thing this dad probably wants to discuss with his young daughter, who is heading “into those years” is that she might want to not engage a boy she doesn’t like, simply because “he’s cute.” Just saying.
Parents of the world, please do society this one teeny, tiny favor. Teach your children to have their manners at the forefront of their interactions with other people. Manners cost nothing. Let’s make the world a better place one child at a time. Who’s with me???