Today my post is going to be short. I want to share with you all as to why I made the steak/burger reference on twitter last week.
I have feelings.
I have aspirations.
I have dreams.
I have joys, heartaches, blessings and struggles.
I was Shantelle Craig before I was Shantelle Bisson.
When people message me wanting to know how I deal with my husband, my lover, my soul mate, my partner in life, what it’s like to watch him “be in love with another woman” or “to have to kiss and be romantic with such a beautiful woman as______” fill in the blanks, he’s been at this for thirty four years, so there have been many beautiful, talented women he’s had to make out with. I typically ignore them, because, well it should be obvious shouldn’t be?
It’s acting. He’s acting. She’s acting. It is their JOBS. I mean is your other half insecure, or worried about I don’t know, your computer at your desk?? No, I think not.
He is not in love with any of them. Not a single one. He is pretending. I know this t, why don’t so many of you know this also? Normally I don’t reply, you’d all be amazed at how any questions like this I receive, compared to the number of times I’ve actually addressed the queries from inquiring minds. I tend to let it slide, but the other day I decided to respond to one because, who knows why, maybe I was feeling vulnerable that day. Like perhaps I was feeling bloated, or maybe I’d had a fight with one of my girls, or Yannick, or my writing wasn’t going well. Or maybe it’s simply because every once in a while it gets under my skin, and I’m human with feelings, and I truly wish that question would just go away.
To make “light” of it, as well as to add some humor to the entire thing, I used a famous quote that Paul Newman was notorious for giving out when asked about his relationship with Joanne Woodward, and how he walked the fidelity line while working with so many beautiful women. Paul Newman would often respond, out for respect for his wife, and to shut dumb people down with this quote:
“I don’t like to discuss my marriage, but I will tell you something which may sound corny but which happens to be true. I have steak at home. Why should I go out for hamburger?”
Some of you took this as an attack against Helene Joy, Yannick’s current co-star. Which it SO WAS NOT. What it was, was me boosting myself up to somebody asking me that ridiculous question once again. Why am I not allowed to think of myself as better for Yannick than his co-star actress? What about this is wrong?
I’m not saying Helene won’t one day be somebody’s steak. But she’s not Yannick’s steak. I am Yannick’s steak.
I’m also not saying that I don’t find her beautiful, or talented by referencing this quote. I happen to think she is both these things, and although I don’t know the woman, I can count on one hand how many conversations I’ve ever had with her in ten years, I can appreciate her beauty and her talent. This still doesn’t make her steak to Yannick. Nor does it make the dozens of other actresses he has made out, faked sex with, or pretended to love more than life itself on screen his steak, and why is this not okay? Would you like him more if you thought he struggled to remain faithful to me? Or if you knew that he secretly finds Helene more appealing to him, than I am to him? No. No you would not. You would think he was a piece of cheating, fake shit.
This was not about Helene people, this was about ME.
And me being hurt at the insensitivity of yet one more person, treating me like lesser than one of his beautiful co-stars. Yet some people judged me so harshly, without taking the comment in context. Or without giving me the benefit of the doubt. And most importantly, without putting themselves in my shoes for five minutes; to stop and ask themselves how hurtful/disrespectful it might feel to be me, and to be asked that question over, and over, and over again for thirty four years.
If you’ve read my blog since the beginning you know how his job used to affect me; it resulted in many plastic surgeries to stop the feeling of inadequacy next to all those beautiful women. Would you want to feel that badly about yourself thanks to your husband’s job? I would bet not. So cut me some slack people, and give me some love.
And know that these days, I’m solid in the knowing that I am FUCKING STEAK, and nobody is going to get me to think otherwise.
PHOTO CREDIT: @thekittyholland