The fact that I’m not in the Christmas spirit, like at all this year, is seriously starting to bother me. It’s not like me to not have an internal excited countdown happening. Yet here I am, feeling every so “meh” about the holiday this year, and it’s really got me going “hmmm…”
I’m not “Grinchy”, it’s not as if I’m ba-humbugging around the city. I’m not “Les Miserables” about it, or wishing it would just hurry up and be over with already, nothing that aggressive. Even with mother nature gifting us with our first white Christmas in at least three years, I’m still not feeling the holiday. I mean I’m still actively acknowledging the day, our tree has been up since November 26th, I water it daily, I light my holiday scented candles as soon as the light falls around 4:45pm every single day, I even managed to get all my shopping done already. Yesterday Yannick and I got every single bit of our Christmas shopping done in one fell swoop. It was AWESOME. We began at 11:30am, and by 3pm we were finished it and sitting in a cafe having a lovely late lunch with an aperitif each. It was wonderful, it was magical, it was a Christmas miracle. I believe it was the first time in our entire relationship where we had made a pact going into the season that the girls would all get ONE gift each, just one, and actually kept to it.
Perhaps we found it a bit easier to stick to this year because of all that is happening around the world. All the innocent children who have lost their lives in Aleppo, or due to other violent acts that have taken place around the globe, or the children who lost their lives in any one of the many natural disasters the world has suffered in 2016. Whatever the root of it might be I can assure you that we’re just not feeling like having, what has become a “traditional consuming,” Christmas this year. In fact, our lack of interest in consuming, or getting more shit for ourselves started long before the crises in Aleppo reached the horrific level it has now. I’d say we began re-evaluating how much stuff we really “needed” a few years back after beginning our work in earnest with Childhood Cancer Canada, and Camp Ooch. Watching kids who don’t have the gift of good health really brought into perspective how little else one really needs if you have the gift of your health. It truly is the greatest gift of all, and I for one am incredibly thankful that me and my entire crew have it. But still something is not sitting right with me about this Christmas. It’s not that I’m discontented, nor do I feel guilty for being me, living in a safe country, free from war. I can’t quite put my finger on it…yet here I sit, quiet in my home, surrounded by snoring dogs, holiday scented candles burning, with only the light of my Christmas tree, the Christmas village and candles giving my house a warm glow and I can’t muster up the same enthusiasm for all my Christmases past.
Maybe it’s because it seems come around quicker and quicker every single year, so I don’t get enough time apart from it to garner the same amount of longing as I did in the past. Or it might be because we no longer have little kids in our lives, who really make the season come alive. Perhaps it’s due to the shift within myself, and the fact that I really truly have everything I could ever really need, a true love, my health and the health of those who mean the most to me. I mean once you have those things what else is there really to wish for?
Which brings me to the question I have for all of you. What are your feelings about Christmas this year???