Jesus H Christ, and good Lord Almighty! I am stunned, honestly, sometimes the innocent, or what I think are innocent blogs that I write about what makes me go “hmmm” open up such a can of worms that I, who is incredibly difficult to shock, becomes so shocked that I’m left not only wondering the WTF, but I have to ask myself WTAF is going on here??? The point of yesterday’s blog was actually not about YB and me having sex, that was simply the segue for the topic at hand. And the topic of the blog actually was: HOW MUCH TIME IS THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF TIME TO HANG OUT AFTER YOU HAVE SEX.
I didn’t discuss any details about the sex I had, it was simply what got me thinking about the topic, that became the blog. Which I try desperately to keep under 1000 words, for your sake and mine, and was a commentary on what I’ve heard so many single girlfriends, discuss over the years. How much time after sex is the appropriate amount of time to spend with somebody before a) either they would leave the building, or b) they would feel comfortable with their sexual partner leaving. I’ve been with YB for almost thirty years now, we’ve lived under the same roof for most of that time, so, I have not had to wonder about that ever in my relationship. Often during these conversations I’ve felt unrelatable to my single friends, that is until yesterday. Our kids are grown, nobody is at home this weekend, and like any healthy, normal, loving couple we made love.
Man oh man how this has upset SOOOOO MANY PEOPLE.
I don’t get it. I don’t understand our new culture: “WAH, you’re writing/commentating/ on something that I’m uncomfortable about, let me keep reading then attempt to drag you on social media.” Why? Why are some people this way? Don’t read it. Change the channel. Unfollow. I mean the power is fully within your own control as to what you watch, read and subscribe to. So why continue down a path that doesn’t feel good to you? Better yet, why attempt to shame or crucify the person who you don’t align with? It’s mind boggling. I don’t get it. It’s bizarre and strange behaviour.
What I also find strange is that some of you are bothered by the fact that somebody you watch on TV, who is faithfully married, has three children (so you know he must have had sex at least three times in his life) has sex with his wife?
I’m not even kidding, how are people upset by this, now, publicly known fact. You’re all fine to watch him play a guy on TV who is “fake married” where on his TV show they allude to the fact that he and Julia have sex, but you’re not okay with the knowing that he has sex with his real life wife.
Is sex dirty to you? Are you ashamed of sex? I just don’t understand the cause for uproar. To me, and Yannick, sex is not only natural, but it is one of the most beautiful, and important parts of being an adult. When life is tough, as it often is, and you feel like things aren’t going your way, the greatest part of being in a loving healthy relationship is being able to fall into your partners arms and make love. Love making makes everything shitty in the world slip away.
When our girls were younger we would allow them to see romantic comedies with us. There would be kissing, and often some hint of a sexual relationship within the context of the film. We were members of a non-denominational church at the time, and I remember we would get pulled into “meetings” and be questioned by our “higher ups” about why we thought it appropriate for our girls to be “exposed” to this type of behaviour. To which Yannick and I were always perplexed. Like how is this a question. Why would we not want our kids to see what love is like? I mean we’re not talking pornos, we’re talking romantic comedies people. Any time we were questioned on this topic we always replied with the same answer:
“Well you let you kids play video games, and watch movies where people kill one another. What about murder is natural? When do you suspect in your kids life time that they will ever need to know how to murder somebody???” Stunned silence. Because hello, we all know killing people is so not a normal way for a human being to behave. But being in love, making love to the person you’re in love with? Hell yeah, it is not only normal it is a sign of a healthy loving relationship, and don’t we all strive to have those?!?
So, the bigger question I have for all the people so upset with me admitting on a public forum that I still make love to my husband on a regular basis, is this: what about me doing so is really the issue? You’re own unhealthy relationship with sex? Or your jealously with the fact that it is me making love to him, and not you?
Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm.