Life is tough. No matter who you are, how big/how small your bank account is, the size of your house/apartment, the kind of car you drive, or don’t drive, if you have a lover or don’t have a lover. Life can be a big pain in the ass some days.
I remember when I was training with Billy Blanks, from 94-96, he was super religious, to the point where you had to attend church with him at least once, before becoming one of his certified instructors. He was infamous for replying, when people would ask him how he was doing, with; “It’s a blessed day, cuz I’m six feet above ground.”
I liked that attitude of his, so I adopted it. It was a simple notion, but a incredibly powerful one. I do find myself using it often, not as often as he was known to, but enough that it brings back memories of his smiling face. Most days it is more than enough to simply “be alive” especially in these times we’re living in. Only God knows how our day today might end. I’m a firm believer in live each day to the fullest, tell people you love them, never let anybody leave the house while either of you are angry with one another. Not one of us knows how many days are left on our dance card.
But what do you do when the chips are down? When that new job you were interviewing for, because you’re down to your last few dollars in the bank, doesn’t pan out? When your spouse is being unfaithful, but you have a family together, and want more than anything for that family to be just that, a family? What do you do when somebody you love, dies way too soon, and unexpectedly. How are we supposed to “keep our chins up” on the days when life is going to shit???
How other people maintain their “it’s totally going to work out” attitudes, always makes me “go hmmm.” I’m not naturally built to immediately flip to the “well this isn’t working out because it’s not meant to work out, because something better is right around the corner (maybe in ten years, cuz it’s a giant fucking block that my good fortunate is around)for me…that’s not where I instinctively go. And knowing this about myself I often ask myself; “why the fuck is everything you have a passion for, such a long shot? Like why are you aspiring to the most difficult occupations, if you don’t handle a door closing, well?”
And all I’ve got for myself is this; “I really have no fucking idea why?”
But I do find it so admirable, people that just dust themselves right off, and leave it behind them as if it never even happened. Yannick is this way. Thank God, because he keeps me sane, most of the time. I watch him go, he’ll have a huge film audition to go in on, he comes out of the meeting and never speaks of it. NEVER. It didn’t even happen. No pillow dialogue about it just before sleep, no dinner chat about it. Nothing. It did not happen.
Then there’s me. Here is a current example of something going on in my life. I was told back in late January, of a new career opportunity that I was being given, they told me that my commitment to it would be between the months of July-March. Perfect. I’m always in Toronto from May to December, anything after that, LA to Toronto isn’t too much drama for commuting. I was EXCITED. This was something I had been working toward for EIGHT YEARS. Finally, sort of, not how I planned it, but regardless, it was coming to fruition for me. YAY! My daughters wrote me epic congratulatory cards, it was celebrated over a wonderful dinner, and champagne. Everybody was stoked, it was treated like a BIG DEAL. If it were Yannick he wouldn’t have given it much thought past the conference call at the end of January. No fancy dinner, no champagne, just a pragmatic, “well let’s wait for them to sign the contract.” Me? Well I’m checking my email a few times a day, looking, waiting, for the confirmation of the career opportunity to begin. Yet here we are, it will be August in a couple of days, and still no email, no contract, nothing. Nada. Only crickets chirping.
And now, it’s getting to that point where it’s getting more difficult to keep my chin up, as July rolls into August, and the opportunity that I’m supposed to be getting is already happening. I know this because it’s all over social media, and the news, so I have the proof that it’s a thing that is happening. Which makes the waiting, the wondering as to WHEN it’s happening for me one of those times that makes it terribly difficult to “keep my chin up” or focus on the “well at least you have your health” or “well you’re married to Yannick, and he’s uber successful, so…” or Billy’s favorite:
“Today is a blessed day, because I’m six feet above ground.”