I don’t get lying.
In my experience I’ve yet to see an outcome where lying has a bigger payoff than telling the truth. Now we have a world leader, and all his cronies saying “alternative facts.”
That’s a fancy term for LYING that I’ve not heard before. Seriously, what are the benefits in spinning a tale? Without fail, it may not be the same day, week, month, year or century, but eventually the truth is revealed. Once it is, the liar ends up looking like an ass. For me the worst part of being lied to, is it creates a distrust in the relationship. It takes a perfectly good, balanced relationship, and puts it on edge. I for one look at the person differently, and begin to wonder, to myself, and often out loud to them…”what else have you lied about??”
In its core I understand it. Sometimes you have information that you know will cause the other person upset, so initially you don’t outright lie to them, you just hold back facts. Facts that won’t serve them. Facts that they’re better off not knowing, simply because them having said information is going to cause unnecessary upset. To prove my point; there have been times where I’ve gone out running errands with one of our girls, I’ve had to pick up some things, like a belt, or shoes. More times than not, the daughter who is with me will also end up with something new. We then carry on our merry ways. I don’t bring up the purchases to Yannick, or the other two girls. Not because I’m LYING, but because I’m saving myself having to explain as to why her, and not them. Or in the case of the husband, saving him the unnecessary information that doesn’t need to occupy space in his head as to “how much” did it all cost. These are examples of sparing people facts that won’t serve them.
Then there are other situations like when a girlfriend asks; “do you like my new haircut??”
Sometimes I will just answer “yes” instead of telling them what I really think. I might be thinking, “it’s not my favorite haircut you’ve ever had, but it still looks good on you.” But what’s the use in telling her that, when she’s already unsure of the new haircut, if she wasn’t she wouldn’t be asking. The truth is, it is just hair, and unless she looks a hot mess, and it is now a hair emergency, it will grow back, and she can once again cut it in a more flattering style.
These are “lies” that I’m saying that I think are fine. Harmless little detours away from the truth.
Then there are other “lies.” Ones where you’re lead to believe that you’re going to be working with somebody, so you give away some pure original gold ideas, and not only do you not end up working with them, but they end up taking your ideas and pawing them off as their own original ideas. This is both being lied to, and stolen from. Two of my personal favourites tied together. I believe there is a special place in creative hell for these folks, so I usually let these slide, carry on with my life and remind myself to not trust them again.
Then there are the more heartbreaking “lies” the ones when people are in a relationship together, for years, and years, and years, neither getting any younger, their best years, especially for the woman fading into the background. Then the day finally comes, one of the two holds the other to fire, and makes them cough up whether or not they’re here for the long haul, and if they are, then they should get married. The person bails, leaving the other holding the bag of mixed emotions, and anger, only to hear, very shortly after, that their ex-person is already engaged to somebody else. The list goes on and on and on…lying to people about loving them, when you don’t. Telling them you’re faithful, when you aren’t. Drinking excessively, or having a drug issue behind a partners back. So many lies. So many reasons why. None of them good enough to justify doing it. I posted on my Instagram this morning a quote about being honest because I for one am a little bit sick and tired of how lying is becoming a widely accepted way to be. When it really is not okay. It’s not alright for anybody involved, and I get it, sometimes it is way easier to tell a white lie than it is to stand, uncomfortably in front of somebody when asked a point blank question than the fleeting cozy comfort of lying. But remember this my friends;
“The truth doesn’t cost anything. But a lie could cost you everything.”
And I do mean EVERYTHING.
Think about it, and now ask yourself is it really worth it? Hmmm…hmmm…hmmm…