Sometimes in life things are just a little bit out of our depths. As a mom there were many times when I found myself in a parenting situation that I didn’t have the tools to handle, or the knowledge to help them out of a sticky situation they found themselves in. Whenever these times appeared I was fortunate enough to recognize that I needed support.
Sometimes that support came from girlfriends, other times it came from my own mom, and often, a trusted doctor, but truthfully, most of the times while in the thick of a mom crisis; it came from a qualified therapist. I required guidance with all three of my girls, even though they were all female, as you can imagine, or as you know well enough if you have multiple kids but of the same sex, each person is their own human, with things that overwhelm them, and things that make them tick. No two are the same and often us parents are fumbling in the dark trying to help them find solutions to their problems. I relied heavily on outside sources to help me raise my children, even now I strongly encourage them to get outside support for themselves, and when they were young, I saw nothing wrong with allowing them the autonomy of having their own therapist. I mean there are just things we as parents don’t need to know about our kids, and they need a safe place to express their frustrations about life, and about us too.
I mean let’s be honest, none of us are perfect, and we’re just out here doing the best we know how to do as parents, “trial and erroring” it all over the place. So why not allow them a safe place to bitch and moan about us? We have our girlfriends and wine, we have our outlets to grumble about our partners and kidlets so why shouldn’t they have theirs? Besides there’s no harm in both parties in the parenting relationship learning effective ways to communicate with one another, nor is there harm in bouncing what feels like a mountain of an objective third party who will often diffuse the heat of the conflict/upset so that the relationship suffers no long-term damage.
If you’re a mom on the fence of trying parenting therapy, wondering if there really is any merit in the expense of it, take it from a mom who has relied on it heavily, with the right unbiased person in your mom/child relationship it is the most helpful gift you can give to yourself, and your child. Working with a parenting therapist isn’t failure, it’s not “oh shit I couldn’t handle this on my own I guess I suck as a parent.” Not at all. In fact, it is the exact opposite, it is rooted in humility and when we’re being humble, and open there’s nothing bad that can come from such a pure place of being. Plus, it takes a lot of the guess work out of navigating a road you’ve never been down before. Think of a parenting therapist as your parenting GPS. None of us go anywhere anymore without turning on our NAV, our GOOGLE map, or WAZE. What makes us think we should/can parent without any guidance???