When your four legged kids just won't get their act together, it's time to go back to school. But this time it will be full immersion.

We’ve had a week with our four legged boys, let me tell you.

Last weekend we had our upper deck, which is cedar, power-washed because when we built the house four years ago our shady builder brought in some trades, as you are all aware of by now who were less than qualified to do their jobs. One of the areas where we ended up with a terrible workman was the crew that came through and stained all the cedar deck-boards, anybody who has done renovations will appreciate that the cedar had no knots. Which means it was a bit more expensive than the cedar with knots. Anyway the bottom line is a sub-par painter came through and ruined all of it, and by the time we saw the finished product it was too late to “save” the cedar. Last year we power-washed most of it off, this year we finally got every last bit of stain off the wood.

Which is lovely right?

Well it would be except anybody who knows wood knows that when you reveal the the bare wood, you open the “pores” of the wood, as it were. Making the wood a bit more vulnerable to the elements, and one of those elements is DUKE. Duke has decided along with peeing on furniture inside the house, outside the house, and pretty much anywhere he wants to has now started to use the side of the barbecue as his “go to spot.” Meaning the raw cedar is now beginning to smell like???

You guessed it.

URINE. Male in tact dog urine. Right beside our outdoor dining table.


What a pain in the ass he is being. And I appreciate all your suggestions that we look into his health. The dog has undergone every single test known to TWO vets to check if it is a health issue. His health has been well looked into. No infections. No allergies. This is not a health related issue. This is purely him just being a stubborn, bad dog. Which in turns causes our other male dog to?

You’re all so smart!!

Go behind him and pee on every single thing that Duke has already peed on. And then Duke comes back around and pees on it, and so on and so on and so on the urine merry go round goes.

Meaning both dogs are equally guilty. So, as an equal opportunity parent I have to discipline both of them. Which this week led to both of them turning their heads at me trying to nip me as I attempted to bring them over to the barbecue.

No, no, no. That will not do. I will not have disrespectful dogs not only ruining my belongings but also thinking that somewhere in their little dog minds that they’re the boss of me.

Absolutely not. I didn’t sign up for this sort of relationship with my dogs. So guess what’s happening to them? They’re going to puppy boot-camp. I am calling up the breeder where we got Kuda, Mack and Duke, who has trained all of our dogs. INCLUDING KOHL, and they’re going to move in with her. She is a breeder, an animal behaviorist and a movie wrangler. She knows dogs. She especially knows difficult dogs, and friends it seems to me that I’m sadly becoming mom to two difficult dogs. One doesn’t play well with others, to the point of needing a muzzle order, and the other can’t distinguish between a good place to do his business or not.

This pet momma is DONE. Off my boys will go to become reacquainted with their good manners, so that we might all live in joy and harmony for as long as they both shall live.

Stay tuned…stay tuned.

PHOTO CREDIT: @thekittyholland