First love yourself this way; and then find a partner that loves you with/without make up, and loves that you eat cake!
Hello friends…thanks for all the comments on the “to needle or not to needle, that is the question” post I wrote yesterday. I find the issue of plastic surgery, and enhancements via injectables almost as polarizing as “to like Trump, or to not like Trump!!” Plastic surgery is such a hot topic, that even though I’m for it, I find myself scratching my head about doctors who are performing surgical procedures on young girls. I don’t get the giving implants to sixteen year olds, or nose jobs to fourteen year olds. I think performing these sort of surgeries on young, immature people, is not ideal. But, then on the flip side, I can also appreciate how painful it is to live in a body, that makes you feel “disfigured” or “like a freak.” I completely empathize with that feeling, and I can only imagine how cruel some people can be to young people who don’t look “normal” to them. So once again, you see me riding the fence on the issue.
Something I didn’t clarify in my post yesterday, which I see now that I should have, is that I, like many of you do not appreciate the pressure that women live with, that men don’t deal with quite as much. This is the pressure to be the perfect version of themselves. For me, certainly when I was younger, and going under the knife, it was driven by the insecurity, and struggle to be flawless that I felt within myself. Looking back, I would even go so far as to say that altering my body with plastic surgery when younger, was linked to the Body Dysmorphia I suffered from, that led me to become bulimic as a teen. I can clearly now see that the two are completely intertwined.
To be clear, I no longer feel the same way about my body, nor do I have that ache to strive for its perfection when pitted against other women, that I once did. This is why, now at my age, I’m a huge advocate of having the discussion with my own daughters, to “wait” for any plastic surgery procedures. In your 20’s you’re still vulnerable to those pressures from the outside world, to force your body into the mold of others around you. As you age, you live, you learn, and you come to realize that you, I, are much more than the flatness of our tummies, or our cellulite free asses and thighs. With life experience there comes a deep gratitude toward the amazing machine, tool, blessing a healthy body is to you. The pressure for it to also be perfect becomes less and less. Which is a tremendous relief, and a great reward. Although, I’m a huge advocate today, and always for breast lifts. Boobs do belong on the chest, not the waist, just saying.
Do I regret the lipo, the tummy tuck? No. Do I think I would have ended up in the same place; as a confident, loving, carefree, generous, zealous woman that I am today without the procedures? Yes. Yes I absolutely certainly do. But I don’t regret them, because they gave me the knowledge to impart onto my daughters that the surgeries will not change the woman you’re meant to become. With, or without them, you are still you. Because who you really are, is deep inside of you. It’s not the package that you’re wrapped up in. And the people, men, and women, who will love, honour, cherish and be with you on this journey called life, will go with you, whether or not you have ass dimples, or if you carry your love of life that sometimes shows up in a woman’s waistline.
Yannick always tells me, without fail, when I get down on myself for eating pasta three days in a row, or having that piping hot fresh bread with butter right out of the oven with my dinner, along with some yummy wine, instead of eating kale salad and fish; “My love. I want a partner to not only live life with, but I want to live life with you knowing that you’re ENJOYING living your life, WITH ME.” And then I remind myself that true love doesn’t notice cellulite, or a fuller face, but it does notice joy, happiness, and contentment. Most of which, sadly do not go hand in hand with starvation, or body obsession disorder. Pick a partner that wants you to have the cake.
Along with finding that partner, and holding on to them; remember that we must all live while we’re alive, and although I’m a woman who favors needles in my face, but hates make up, who loves to sweat it out in the gym, but can’t be bothered to do my own hair. I say only we truly know where our delicate balance of true soulful happiness lies. And to that I say, once you find THAT, never let it go, and never let anybody tell you that the way you love yourself is wrong.
I love you, xo
SB
