Our youngest daughter wrote such a powerful piece about dating, love and the trend of swiping to something better in our modern world. When I look around I’m amazed at how many people are using apps to “meet” people. I know all about dating websites, and know quite a few people who have found love, and marriage via these resources. But, I can’t say that I’ve heard similar stories about people meeting on Tinder, or Grinder. Those apps seem more like “hook up” opportunity sites, which I suppose if you’re not ready for a deep, intimate, connected relationship these quick find destinations suit you just fine. But after reading Mikaela’s article, and listening to our middle girl who lives in LA share so openly about finding people to have relationships, and not simply sexual encounters with I can’t help but wonder; where does one go to make, hopefully a deep and meaningful connection.
Both our girls who are not in serious relationships are determined to do it the organic, old fashion way of meeting somebody in person while out and about in their daily lives. As their mother I truly hope that this happens for them. But where, and how? If so many people are looking in their phones for their next conquest where are all the people who want to meet somebody in the flesh hanging out? Where do you find like minded, not into app dating people? Are there any left is the better question???
I mean there are even pet adoption apps. It seems like any relationship you’re after in your life can be had with the swipe of a finger. But not all people are wanting to meet a lover, a partner this way, a pet is one thing. But a future husband? Not so fast. It really is such a strange time we all live in. Just the thought of what my two girls are up against, sometimes keeps me up at night. Every parent wants their children to be happy. To find love and a life partner, if that is a desire that is in their hearts. Which for all three of our daughters, it has always been. Some friends have said to me that they think Yannick being as amazing a man as he is might be a bit of a downside for them when they look for men to date. At first I found this offensive, but when it was explained to me further it made sense to me in that Yannick has set the man bar quite high for our girls. And, if you go back to one of my huff post article, (link below) you’ll remember that I pondered about the need for parents to have these conversations with their sons that parents of girls tend to have naturally. To Parents Of Boys: Please Raise Them To Be Decent Human Beings
In my opinion the way porn magazines and films, negatively portrayed women, and how they want their sexual relationships to be, were to the youth of my generation what the plethora of girls sexually objectifying themselves on their own social media sites are to this current male generation. I think in the same way this disturbing trend of females putting all their business out there on social media is setting young men up for failure in their pursuit of relationships with “real girls” the world over today.
Women are complex beings. Men need to be raised in a way that gives them they tools to have healthy loving relationships with them. And parents of girls need to be paying way closer attention to their daughters social media profiles. Not liking their tongue out, thong ass out photos. Which I can’t even with…but that’s a different post. As a woman and a mother of three girls this is no way for a girl to represent herself to the world. I mean that is if she’s not trying to get hired as a porn model or porn actress. Sexy is hot. In your face hyper-sexualization of one’s self is not.
I don’t know what the answer is for my daughter Mikaela to find forever love. I don’t what it’s going to take for her to let herself go jump off the love cliff and give it another whirl. Love is messy. Love is painful. Love is unfair. But love is also rewarding, fulfilling and beautiful. Love, in all it’s glory makes the world a better place, and in my humble opinion, is always worth the risk.