All right, I know you’re all busy, it’s the eve, before Christmas eve, and I know how wildly busy I am. I’m busy and all my shopping is DONE. I’m busy and I only have nine people for Christmas Eve dinner, nine for Christmas Day brunch (a different nine)and then dinner for ten on Boxing Day. Not the traditional giant sit down dinner of like 30, or 40 as some of you are having, but many mouths to feed scattered over three days. So busy. The fortunate bit to all my commitments, is that all the meals are happening at my house, so I don’t have to get wrapped up in the BS of holiday traffic. Small miracles. But, on the other hand I do have to do all the grocery shopping, the prep, the clean up, the cooking, and then the clean up once again. So it’s not busy as in whipping around driving from house, to house, to celebrate the season, but busy just the same.
The point about my rambling on about my busy-ness is that we all have the people in our lives that are our “ride or dies” the people we know would be there in the 11th hour, who would do anything for you, and would forgive us anything. We all have those relationships. We also all have the BS relationships, you know what I’m talking about, the ones where there is truly nothing left anymore but for some reason you still text one another from time to time, or grab a coffee, or “like” their posts on social media. Perhaps you’ve been through some shit in the past, tough shit, nitty gritty, couldn’t have survived without them shit, but now that ship has sailed. The ship has sailed possibly due to lives moving in different directions; or it may have shifted because of distance, so you’ve simply drifted apart. You know that famous poem; Reason, Season, Lifetime, each relationship that crosses your path has its purpose. Sometimes having certain relationships coming to an end, like mine with my own mother, can seem unnatural, and a bit more painful, knowing that somebody who is meant to love you, and stand beside you unconditionally the way a mother should yet can’t, are harder to let go of. But whatever the relationship is, or with whomever it is with, the important thing to keep in mind is that they cannot all last forever.
Which brings me to my post. Today I got a Christmas card from a “friend” who I never speak to anymore, in fact haven’t physically had a conversation with, that hasn’t been via a text in probably 12-14months. As I opened the card, which by the way had no return address on it, only their married last name, which would be okay if I even knew where she lived anymore. You see they bought a new house and moved, a house I’ve never even been invited to, so I have no idea what the address is. Which is weird right? I mean, if you don’t know where your “friend” even lives, are they a “friend” to you at all?? Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm. Anyway turning the envelope over in my hand I thought; why on earth are you sending me a Christmas card? We don’t speak anymore. Not even casually over coffee, even though we used to be so close. Like super close, like she helped me reconcile with Yannick when we were separated in 2004, CLOSE. But not anymore, we’re so not close. In fact we’re so not close, this is how not close we are. Her baby turns two in a few days, or hell maybe already did turn two, and I’ve met him three times, the last time being about 18months ago. So since I don’t even know your kid, why would you feel like I’m a person who should be on your Christmas card list, that is a card with only photos of a child I don’t even know? Who is the card for; you, or me? Like why do people send Christmas cards to people they don’t even associate with? I for one do NOT send Christmas cards to people I don’t either hang out with, love, or do business with. The reason I don’t just randomly send out Christmas cards to every Reason, Season or Lifetime person is because I’m too fucking busy to hand write cards to every damn person who used to mean something to me.
So Christmas Card sender/amazingly close friend of my past, please, if you’re reading this, let’s either get our relationships back on track, or do not pretend to like me for that one damn day a year.
P.S your baby is absolutely beautiful!