My husband is an avid mountain bike rider. Everybody who follows him knows this. In fact, he often has to be reminded to talk about things other than mountain biking in mixed company. When I enter a room where he is, unannounced, I catch him watching “bike porn” all the time, in the corners of our house, his garages, in his trailer on set, the bathroom. Pretty much everywhere. It is absolutely fair to say, that my husband’s mountain bikes are his mistresses.
He dotes on his bikes, spending hours alone with them. Tinkering with them, balancing the wheels, making adjustments to seat posts, getting the grips on the handle bars “just so”, washing them after particularly dirty rides, and making sure to get every spot of water off of their carbon frames by toweling drying them. He even takes them on romantic trips for two. And, if all this wasn’t “bad enough”, when he’s done spending time with them, caring for and pampering them, he will come inside and spend HOURS, if I “let him”, surfing websites about the latest and greatest shocks, brakes, seats, padded shorts…basically anything pertaining to bikes.
Once that is out of his system, and his wish list is created, it’s time to check out what the pros are up to. Time to get online and check out standings. God forbid he forget, or not have the time to watch a World Cup race. You do not want to know him if he misses a race; even social media must be avoided on these days so that he doesn’t get any spoilers, until he can sit down and get to watching.
I kid you not when I ponder this out loud…does my husband love his bikes more than me?? Not going to lie, part of me believes that he just might. Like in a fire, I wonder would he grab me, or his bikes??? Hmmm…
He assures me that I’m his number one. That the bikes are just his hobby, but I don’t know folks, he is pretty attentive to those damn bikes; and like I mentioned above; he even plans trips away together. Sounds like a mistress to me. I can’t even tell you the last time YB planned a trip for the two of us. If I want to go somewhere with him, let me assure you, I’m doing the planning. But not his bikes. No sirree. They’ve been to Coast Rica, Whistler B.C, Revelstoke B.C, Monterey California just to name a few. I’m not bitter, not at all, I just find it funny at how good a life his mountain bikes have.
But I shouldn’t give just the “ugly” side of his riding, there are many upsides. The main one being his ass, wish my ass was half as high, and half as firm…and just yesterday alone, on his ride, he performed two good Samaritan acts.
- as you witnessed on his Instagram story, he helped a roadie who had hit the pavement pretty hard, by carrying his bike (while he rode his biked SO STRONG) on his shoulder to store it in our garage, apparently those things can cost up to $20,000?!? He did this so that the rest of the injured roadie’s buddies could carry on with their ride. I guess bicycles are not welcome in ambulances? Anyway, super sweet of him to even stop, considering, you probably don’t know this, roadies and mountain guys don’t really have much respect for one another. But, Yannick a) being a decent human when faced with a fellow human in need, stepped up to the plate, and b) was probably reminded about how fortunate Mikaela was, when she had her accident a few weeks back, and it was a roadie who stopped to ensure she was alright, and to be her witness. One good turn deserves another, even between mountain and road riders.
- his second good act, once he got back to it, was that he stopped his ride in the middle of it, in order to fix a part of the trail where they ride to re-stack stones so that nobody else who rides the trail ended up with a flat tire (on the stones) the way he always does when he goes by that section of trail. What a good guy.
I suppose at the end of the day I need to be thankful for a few things. 1) it keeps him super fit, and looking hot/sexy, which makes me incredibly happy. 2) he could be into golf, which from what I understand takes up entire weekends, when you have a man who plays both days. Also watching golf on TV has to be one of the most painfully dull things EVER to have to sit through. At least with mountain bike races there is an element of risk involved which makes it more like watching a thriller movie compared to a documentary. 3) He could be addicted to actual porn.
Guess I’ll shut up, count my blessings, and admire that ass.
PHOTO CREDIT: KITTY HOLLAND @thekittyholland