Happy Hump Day Mommas! Hope you’ve had a fab week since you popped in to read my last post.
I don’t know how your mothering is going, but I have to confess that mine has not been going all that well lately. I could blame hormones, I’m already in menopause, haven’t had the painters in since August 2017. How cool is that? I love it. Travel and sex with zero worry that I’m going to get a surprise period tagging along for the fun of it, is nothing but bliss to me my friends. Whatever the reason is I’m in a temporary moment of “funky mom” syndrome. Maybe it’s the Covid blues, waiting for life to return to some sense of “normal” is definitely weighing down my spirit! I just miss regular life. Hanging out with people outside of my bubble of 10. And I feel that lately I just can’t say or do the right thing. The dreaded, “can’t win” parenting loop.
I’ve been at this for thirty-three years, and it’s not the first time I’ve found myself here, yet the internal reaction of being here is pretty much the same as it was the first, tenth, and hundredth time I found myself in the murky waters of “I just don’t think I could fuck up any worse than this” mom swamp. Sometimes this cycle lasts a couple of hours, sometimes it can carry on for days, for me this last bout has been going on for a couple of weeks. It can feel like I’m never going to get my feet under me again, and then like magic, the tides turn and the communication between myself and my daughters becomes clear again. Our patience toward one another more readily available and I’m reminded that life is a series of hills and valleys, of learning curves and transitions. Nothing is ever the same, so I can’t expect that I’m going to always know exactly how to react to each and every situation that comes up with my daughters. The mother child relationship is forever evolving, because we as human beings are constantly growing, learning, changing, and questioning all that is within us, and outside of us.
What I have to constantly remind myself of, and it’s something that has helped me tremendously through the years is: being a mom means always being willing to be the first to say sorry when there has been a conflict with my kids. This hasn’t always been easy, believe you me, but it has always been worth it. No matter the age, or where the fault lies, being the first to say sorry teaches our children how to be humble in any and all relationships they will have in their own lives. It also shows them the power of taking ownership quickly in a conflict. Plus being the first person to extend an olive branch just feels good. So, whatever is going on for you today, take a moment to remind yourself that even if, like me, you’re currently feeling like a “mom fail” it’s never too late to say sorry, and begin again.