Okay Mommas. Listen up. It’s Wednesday, AKA Hump Day, AKA Wine Wednesday, AKA Wellness Wednesday! Whatever the middle of the week means to you, I use it as my opportunity to check myself, and if need be line up a new attitude for myself. You’ve probably noticed by now being a part of a parenting duo is not without its challenges. You might even be in the part of your intimate relationship where the sex has dried up, and the tempers are the only things that seemed heated in your life.
Lord I remember those days. They were not fun. Nor where they permanent. But, the only way those days passed were because my man and I made a commitment to get through them and put them behind us. We did this by putting us first. Sometimes, if we’d gone too long neglecting our marriage it involved therapy. Most couples, especially new parents make this common mistake of putting their relationship aside while they only focus on giving to and being with their kid(s). This is not the way to have a healthy, thriving, happy partnership. The way to make sure that you have one of those is by making it a priority. It is super important to put your intimate relationship before your parenting relationship.
You’re probably thinking, “say what Shantelle? My baby, (my babies) are the most important part of my life!”
Well I have news for you, I couldn’t disagree with you more, and here’s why. Your kids grow up, and you know what happens when they grow up? God willing, they move out. They make their own way in the world and get their own intimate relationships leaving you with you, yourself and your partner. Where the hell will you be then if you have not nourished and nurtured that relationship during those parenting years? I can assure you that it’s going to be really hard to “pick up where you left off” twenty odd years later.
So why wait?
Why not start reconnecting with your lover today. Book a babysitter, get a wax, book a blow-dry and book a sexy date. Hell, take it one step further and ask somebody you trust to take your kid(s) for an overnight, so you can do that have sex on the kitchen table, or living room couch thing that you used to love so much. Studies have shown that couples can fall out of the habit of being intimate, whether it is sexually, or emotionally. This doesn’t have to be you. Being a mom doesn’t have to leave you with a wanting intimate relationship. Give your partnership the attention it needs, even if it means you take a little something away from your mom duties. Trust me when I tell you that your kids will thank you if they grow up in a home where they’re not the centre of your universe. They can feel the difference between parents who love each other enough to put themselves first, so that the love can go the distance. You also set a very strong example of how to have balance in life, and that’s always a good thing!
Go get your sexy on Mommas!