My heart is incredibly heavy today.  The title of my blog today is a line from the speech I gave at Boost for Kids when I shared about my sexual abuse as a child.  “Just because somebody looks like they don’t have a story, doesn’t mean they don’t.”

How broken, discouraged, hopeless and tortured must one be to end their own life.  I can’t imagine the suffering Kate Spade must have been dealing with, and the complete lack of faith that Anthony Bourdain must have both been feeling to take their lives.  From the outside, both looked like their lives were perfect.  Both accomplished.  Both revered and admired in their industries.  Loved by many.

I suppose at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter about all the outward prosperity you have, or how much you’re adored and cherished, even if it is by millions.  If you have no love for yourself, or if you cannot accept and process your own self worth, then all the money, fame, and adoration cannot save you.

I pray for change to come.

I pray for our governments to recognize that mental health is a serious health issue that needs more funding.

I pray that those who were close to Kate and Anthony have their beautiful, happy memories to carry them through these next days, weeks, months, and years without them.  Especially both their young daughters.  May they be surrounded by love, comfort and strong family members who can love them through these dark days.

Everybody Hurts by REM has been playing over and over in mind today…

When your day is long
And the night
The night is yours alone
When you’re sure you’ve had enough
Of this life
Well hang on
Don’t let yourself go
‘Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it’s time to sing along
When your day is night alone (hold on)
(Hold on) if you feel like letting go (hold on)
If you think you’ve had too much
Of this life
Well, hang on
‘Cause everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don’t throw your hand
Oh, no
Don’t throw your hand
If you feel like you’re alone
No, no, no, you’re not alone
If you’re on your own
In this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you’ve had too much
Of this life
To hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes
So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts
You are not alone
If only Kate and Anthony felt like there was somewhere they could go, somebody they could turn to.  For now I’m going to try to focus my thoughts on how much better they both made the world while they were in it.  If you, or anybody you know and love is suffering with mental illness that is pushing them to thoughts of suicide, help them, even if they push you away.  Even if they tell you they’re okay, stand your ground and be their light in the dark.  In Canada call:  Centre for Suicide Prevention 1-833-456-4566
May Kate and Anthony be finally at peace now.