Oh the joys of keeping the love alive in a relationship. In the beginning it is so easy, it happens naturally and organically, with little to no effort from one another. Just the thought of having somebody to go out to dinner, or to a movie with is enough to give you a little lift in your step. Who cares the restaurant or the movie. It’s just so lovely to have somebody you dig to hang out with.
And then comes our good ole friend TIME. You get comfortable with your partner, and they with you. The activities you used to do together are now a bore, and if I’m being honest, maybe even sex has become a little; “same ole, same ole.” Starting a relationship is easy, keeping it going, takes an entirely different set of skills.
So, what to do if you find yourself knee deep into your relationship, still madly in love with your partner, but feeling bored, or stale? First things first; get out there and find some interests that have nothing to do with being with your partner day in day out. When this started to happen to us, once our girls were bigger and we didn’t need to be home all the time, running them around, we started to take trips together, and separately to places we’d always wanted to go, and doing things we had always wanted to do. Maybe your schedule or pocketbook doesn’t allow for you to leave your city, your province, or country, that’s totally fine, then pick up a new hobby, make new friends, anything really to get you expanding your life horizons; to keep you interested, and, interesting.
Trust me there’s nothing like opening up your own life, to add spark and fire back into a long term relationship. Because, the fascinating thing about spending time away from you partner, is that you actually do end up closer in the long run. I mean, 0bviously that all depends on where and WHO you’re spending your time with. I’ve witnessed people choose people of the opposite sex, which is obviously not the sort of “spend time doing things that interest you” that I’m talking about. Trust me, I feel you, being in a long term relationship can be tedious, but it can also be beautiful, and wonderful if you build it well. So, take it from a girl who knows, thirty years in, the best thing we ever did for our relationship was to quit relying on the other to entertain us, make us happy, or fulfill us. When we grew up and realized that we needed to do this for ourselves, our relationship expanded to places I never could have imagined. Celebrating your differences, and bringing something new to the table of your relationship can only add to the whole of it.
So do it. Sign up for that art class, or dance class, or take that trip to the place you’ve always wanted to go, but your partner never did. Then when you come back together, you will have so many new and fresh things to share with them, that it will feel shiny and new, well, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration. It will feel renovated, and upgraded. Which is not a bad place to land either.