Thank you for your patience with all these late night postings as I enjoy my mother daughter vacation. Also, thanks for not writing me to make me aware of any typos, thanks in large part to the free alcohol that keeps finding its way to my lips. You’re all the best!! As I wind up the month of June, and my first couple of weeks of musing…thanks by the way for coming back to visit so often! I had so many thoughts on how I might finish the month. I have many thoughts about the pending postal strike, the ongoing violence around the world, and many, many other things that truly make me “go hmmm.” But, after much thought and consideration, the topic that has won the final post of June goes to…drum roll please.

ORGANICS.

Are they for real?

Is it a real thing?

Listen, I buy Organic. Everything I buy is Organic, dairy, if/when I buy it, fruits, meat, nacho chips, teas. You name it. If it’s in a market, and you can buy it, I buy it Organic. Even body lotions, detergents, soaps, dog food. If it comes in my house, it is Organic.

So, you might say I’m a believer, or am I?

Cuz, even though outwardly I look like I’m fully on the bandwagon, there is so much about the Organic thing that really, hardcore, makes me “go hmmm”. And tell me if I’m not alone on this. Every time I’m standing in the produce section of the market, and I make my way to the fruits, I honestly have an incredibly difficult time believing that all that shit is Organic. I stand there looking at the “conventional” granny smith apples next to the “Organic” apples, and to the naked eye, I truly cannot tell the difference. For starters they’re the same f’n size…I always thought Organic meant smaller?? Secondly the color is the exact same, the only thing that sets them apart is that the “Organic” version doesn’t have that waxy residue all over the skin. I stand there thinking to myself, I wonder if on picking day, the field foreman tells all the workers: “REMEMBER, EVERYTHING YOU PICK IN YOUR RIGHT HAND GOES INTO THE ORGANIC BARRELS. WHATEVER YOU GRAB WITH YOUR LEFT, PUT IT IN THE CONVENTIONAL BARRELS. AND DON’T FUCK UP PEOPLE, THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.”

I’m not joking. I seriously think this when I’m standing there staring at the apples, actually when I look at ALL FRUIT: blueberries, strawberries, naval oranges, lemons. Shit. Often times the “Organic” lemons are significantly LARGER than their “conventional” counterparts. So what really gives? Is there really an Organic version of everything that is not grown Organically? I would really like to know, I mean our governments lie about so many other things, why wouldn’t they lie to us about how/what they decide, and then give the Organic stamp of approval on? I had dinner with the daughter of a dairy farmer, who is also set to be my sister-in-law, very soon, her family has a dairy farm in New Zealand, so naturally I asked her if it was an Organic farm. Her response; “oh God no, the cost to produce Organic milk compared to the profit in it is impossible.” Apparently, in New Zealand anyway, there is very little more money to be made by selling Organic milk, compared to the cost of owning and operating an Organic farm. The profit margins, and I don’t want to spread any rumors, so I won’t put a number on it, since I can’t remember the number she actually gave me, but trust me when I tell you that what I do recall is that it’s basically, not do-able.

So if it isn’t all that do-able, if there are no profit margins, and the cost of converting to an Organic farm is too great, then who really is doing it? How, all of a sudden are there so many Organic farmers that there are twelve choices for milk, cream cheese, and butter? That there are so many Organic farmers in the fruit, and vegetable game that you can even get almost every single piece of fruit /veggie either fresh, or frozen?

Or could it be, as I suspect that when all produce is being picked, everything that the pickers pick in their right hands go into the “Organic” bins and everything they pick in their left hands gets put in the “conventional” bins? I suppose only Whole Foods Market knows the real answer.

Hmmm…hmmm…hmmm.