Hey, I'm Shantelle

I’ve been digging deep, uncovering the best parts of myself for as long as I can remember.  It wasn’t like I was looking for enlightenment, it wasn’t something I was raised in/with.  I was raised by a dynamic, hardworking, committed single mother, who taught me that women can raise a family on their own.  That women are stronger than they know.  A good thing too, since as a young girl I had no idea just how badly I would need to lean on my mother’s example.

The Divine gave me a life path that forced my hand.  The only way I was going to get joy; health of body, and mind, was if I did the work to heal all the sexual abuse I endured.  The only way I was going to live my one best life, as the daughter of a neglectful absentee alcoholic father, was if I uncovered how to break the cycle of alcoholism that coursed through my veins.  The only way I was going to figure out how to find validation for myself instead of receiving it, and holding that which came from literally every single person I encountered outside of me as more important than how I saw myself, was to explore the why’s that triggered years of bulimia within me. 

I had no choice.  I had to do the work.  I had to grit my teeth, and do the f*#king work.  

So I did.

Years and years and years of work.  Therapy.  NLP.  Spirituality.  Coaching.  If there is a healing modality out there; I’ve likely done it.  And you know what?  It worked.  I’m not only still standing, I’m thriving and living this thing called life without losing my cool! 

I was fortunate enough to break the cycle of all negative examples that were set before me by my father.  I somehow, at the all knowing age of eighteen, managed to pick the man who would become the father of my three daughters, and my life partner.  And guess what?  He’s not an alcoholic.  Nor is he neglectful.

Together we’ve built a life worth celebrating.  Me, a published author, and small business owner, him, an internationally celebrated actor who can be seen on CBC’s Murdoch Mysteries the world over.  So far we’re doing just fine.  But it takes, guess what?  Work. Lots and lots of work.  Some of it fun, some of it hard, some of it seemingly like it will never be done.  But somehow here I am, a partner to a fellow human 33 years running. 

I was fortunate enough to break the cycle of all negative examples that were set before me by my father.  I somehow, at the all knowing age of eighteen, managed to pick the man who would become the father of my three daughters, and my life partner.  And guess what?  He’s not an alcoholic.  Nor is he neglectful.

Together we’ve built a life worth celebrating.  Me, a published author, and small business owner, him, an internationally celebrated actor who can be seen on CBC’s Murdoch Mysteries the world over.  So far we’re doing just fine.  But it takes, guess what?  Work. Lots and lots of work.  Some of it fun, some of it hard, some of it seemingly like it will never be done.  But somehow here I am, a partner to a fellow human 33 years running. 

When the Universe saw fit to make me, a person who never thought she’d be a mother, the mother of a daughter at the ripe old age of nineteen, the work on healing myself began in earnest.

It was the day that the doctor told me I was pregnant that I realized the path of drugs I had begun to go down to numb out the pain of feeling both unwanted and simultaneously like a sexual object was not going to cut it.  I had to find a better way to feel better within my own skin. And it was a good thing I did, because two more daughters followed before I turned 30.  I did the work on healing me while I was raising them, we literally all grew up together.

The reward? Now I have three women, Brianna, Dominique, and Mikaela, who are my favorite people on the planet, and I think they’re pretty fond of me too.

With the tools and the ability to heal my own traumatic past, coming out of all that I did with a strong healthy family nucleus, and three socially aware, empathetic, compassionate human beings I began to write about my struggles, and my victories, for Huffington Post online.  Through there I was tapped to begin writing about my parenting journey for another online magazine, Zoomer.  Then there were guest hosting gigs on CBC The Goods, weekly on-air parenting expert panels for other local Canadian news outlets.

As the interest in how I arrived at this place in life growing, combined with the world changing so radically thanks to handheld devices, and social media all creating such disconnect and distraction in parenting, and relationships; I decided to put my knowledge into a series of books; Without Losing Your Cool.  So I started at the beginning of the cycle of life.  Raising kids. I figured the best way to become a human being who can get through this thing called life Without Losing Your Cool is to start with a head start by having parents who raise that sort of person.  Which is why the first book in the series is Raising Your Kids Without Losing Your Cool.  Book Two:  Parenting Your Teen Without Losing Your Cool is in the works now.